I believe we need to do a lot less thinking about ourselves and a lot more caring for others. Especially the people who we dislike. Because chances are that the people who hurt us are also hurting. It's never easy, but it's absolutely necessary. Sympathize. Don't criticize. And above all, empathize.
Read, read, read. Read everything — trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it.
Then write. If it’s good, you’ll find out. If it’s not, throw it out of the window.